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Almost Heaven (Not Yet)

by David F. Bello

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1.
i got lost doing math but in high i won a math award i had called but it didn't matter by the time i got to the store the young woman at the pharmacy said you're confusing the poor man i put just enough money on the counter with compassion in my hands it's only spooky if you think there's fate look at the universe where hints are made and call it something else but where you've laid the stones to get below this place
2.
he disappeared, he disappeared you were doing rabbit ears on a porch drinking a beer he disappeared, he disappeared i remember drinking at the bar my old apartment seemed so far he disappeared, he disappeared car rides to the mall stoner posters on his wall he disappeared, he disappeared i think once he cut my hair a decade here, a decade there he disappeared, he disappeared we canvassed out to vote that was two cold wars ago he disappeared, he disappeared he took half the drugs i took and yet he didn't last the year he disappeared
3.
Be Water 05:48
i sensed a storm, i sent the world away with a form and with a pill to take i took the papers past the library with a thorn and with that thorn in me, i said be quiet be water tell the devils tell the choir take the time to let it go take the time to let it go tell the headache it's an illusion, not a secret replace distraction with desire fire voices, use fire be present
4.
since i crossed the little kanawha over to the south side i try to keep a little drawl, but it only comes out sometimes when i'm singing a song, i stretch my vowels for too long i had too many drinks and ignore what people think i wasn't raised to like the lake, so sometimes it feels a little fake so when i pronounce a few things wrong and wear my cheap haircut and clothes i want to keep the truth in song a singer sings things that he knows
5.
i keep dreaming about a cage i had hoped i would lose these dreams with age in the halfway place one eye open, one eye caved a dark spot in summer water a leaf on the carpet that's enough body horror i prefer movies i prefer order when you call, i answer like the spit up of a baby must be cleaned
6.
Chaplain 04:44
it's only cold because it rained all the cars have water dots my arms are goosebumped with no sleeves i thought the weather would be hot here we are, already june litter soaking on the sidewalk there are clouds up in the sky i turn the key, the door is locked now i go into the day feel a puddle through my shoes i cry a little everyday feel the puddle through my shoes whispering while i'm cut in half get the priest here to give rites tell my parents i am sorry tell my wife that she was right tell my boss he can eat shit tell the mail to stop coming you can flush my ash remains that's my "prayer to god" by shellac
7.
ICU WV 02:23
i was working from home in philly the day angelo badalamenti died got the call from my mom that my dad fell and took a helicopter ride to morgantown, the icu my uncle went along he had bleeding on the brain, all i've done was write this fucking song i heard his voice, confused as he was, tired and afraid i wished that i had been there, but no, i never stayed helped by god, "west by god" it never really was my home i felt the tears belonging there but i never felt alone see the mall, see the old schools downtown never thrived clip the papers, sneak the yard pray michael is still alive my closest friends got out of there but justin went away my parents will end up there but for now, i pray they stay
8.
Pocket Rose 03:36
she lost her vape pen in the folds of the couch so precious just to even take it out spent all night trying to find it all around she lost her vape pen in the folds of the couch she found a vape pen in the grass on her way back home from haircutting class she tried to charge it off her phone but had left the right kind of cable home when it worked, it was some kind of berry blast but probably just nicotine and liquid glass chucked it in the kitchen trash she missed the bitter taste of the last she found a vape pen in a starbucks bathroom kissed it every day for two weeks traded it in for blu-ray cartoons at the pawn shop by the creek she found a vape pen hiding in used clothes tucked behind an old lapel a goodwill jacket pocket rose where someone's hand must not have felt
9.
if i fall asleep on the phone if can't say type what you like if the car doesn't come soon and i'm alone in my hometown, i just might remove the jewelry you made out of paper, ink, and stone but i grew up where the mall is now our friends have more kids we still don't get paid remember all the fun and good times? when i moved, you even cried when my heart beats for the last time, i want you to be there when i die
10.
i do the dishes and i take out the trash i think about what i learned in college class i didn't most the books, like i even wanna rehash i do the dishes and i take out the trash not many people listen to all these songs i wish that i'd been famous all along but i check the number of plays, like i'd ever not be wrong not many people listen to all these songs someone on a podcast died i get an email every time i click every link inside, like i'd even want a sign that someone on a podcast died our band will go on tour again maybe in a different city, i'll see you, friend i get stressed about my voice, like i'd even want to mend but our band will go on tour again kept my phone unplugged for two whole days slept in like i had stayed up too late plugged in and checked my bank, like i'd even want the rate i kept my phone unplugged for two whole days

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released February 3, 2023

written and recorded by David F. Bello

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David F. Bello Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I sing for The World is a Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid to Die. This is my solo project.

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