I Don't Remember the Alamo

from The Shifting of the Poles by David F. Bello

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lyrics

i need to stop doing this to myself
i need to stop doing this to you

i want to twist off my throat
the bottle opener snapped
too weak to do its job
from overusing for that

my liver can thank me later
gratitude for a quick painless death
my heart is a different story
i apologize for drawing it out
its years of clogged vessels
and clotting for kicks
its taking its toll
and making me sick with guilt

when my eyelids crack
at the venetian dawn
the peeled back exposition
of confusion takes its turn

i need to stop doing this to myself
and thus stop doing it to you

keep punching me
i dont deserve to wake up
i dont want sympathy
and i dont want to seem
ungrateful
for my lips cant move mountains
or do a single thing

im sorry i cant remember
you can count the number of times
ive tried to kill myself
on the back of my left hand
but the right is always there
to fight off any harm
like the friend you dont know how to thank
or the ringing smoke alarm

it woke me up and hit me
for wrongs i have caused
i cant take back
the things i made you saw

i dont deserve to know
the religion youve become
i dont deserve to find
the divine sum

ill write out my will
in the blood ill spill
trying to make it up to you

and the scars on my wrist
are added to the list
the only ways i learn
to make it up to you

i need to stop doing this to you
im sorry

credits

from The Shifting of the Poles, released August 1, 2003

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about

David F. Bello Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I sing for The World is a Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid to Die. This is my solo project.

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