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The Shifting of the Poles

by David F. Bello

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1.
Better Off 01:41
she can have yr father try to scare me as much as she wants but i wont back off and i can break my legs on yr front porch falling out yr window at night you dont scare me as much as you used to ive gotten used to what you throw at me and believe me its worth every bit of it the words you write down in yr notebook will never be abt me but i can tell for sure that i hold a better place
2.
you can have custody whatever you said to me doesnt mean anything i read too much into things just give me back the cds i leant you because im moving to pittsburgh next june i swear ill come back to visit but ill never get around to seeing you ive got this hope that just wont fall off im shaking and shaking but i can still see it its just gonna hit me again its just gonna stab me again its just gonna scrape me hollow again pretty soon im just gonna be a hollowed rind man is not a piece of fruit but i cant peel you out of my mind pretty soon well die in this car if you dont look where were going watch the road i dont plan on passing in the passing lane of yr shark tailed rotting machine watch the road
3.
Ice Skater 03:52
it always seems like i pick a delicious apple but then the apple always takes a bit out of me oh come on make my stomach ache again like it used to when youd kick me hard and when youd talk abt older boys arent they all just so much cooler than me in their parents houses those animals! you turned me down you turned me down this avenue im at my best when ignoring yr very existence or at the next level hurting you with sarcasm and knives maybe ill finally be happy when i move away and maybe in that new city ill put my foot in a whole new beartrap that has different colored hair than you and a whole new name! you keep fighting and fighting each other ice skater! boot to the head in the convenience store window ice skater! switch from one girl i want to another ice skater! with a friend i came here alone! ice skater!
4.
i wanna vomit on yr black t shirts that advertise metal bands the children you concieved in 9th grade in football stands the mall is breathing with motley heavings of crowd interraction metal belt girls hairdye colors guaged ears lick winter tire traction break me out another bottle i havent started buzzing yet youll be a policeman the way you give orders ill take that bet that in twenty minutes ill be right in this couch thinner and younger and better youd better start the count at the bottom of the barrel ...ill sit with my friends at the bottom of the barrel ...ill count my blessings always look on the bright side of life! ...not just the ends at the bottom of the barrel ...count me in now that youve gained weight and been to prison i hope youve learned a lot cause im still jealous and fat and lazy and stupid and useless and drunk and ugly and my forehead is hot what have i given just to be able to say that i am closer to being alive with nothing left but herzog and the idiot
5.
the fun we couldve had what couldve been i swear on my mothers grave someday ill be dancing on yr grave ill regret you for this
6.
im knocking but you cant hear me i miss you more than i miss my family if you wont visit at least call me theres nothing i want more ill keep knocking even if you arent home theres nothing i want more ill keep knocking even if yr out with him were knocking but you cant hear us my knuckles bleed from beating on wood you wont answer but oh i wish you would theres nothing i want more ill keep trying toy with me until i break theres nothing i want more for gods sake! butterfly wings and feather tune make me wanna blow up the moon i am a red and killing moon i am dead and born anew
7.
i need to stop doing this to myself i need to stop doing this to you i want to twist off my throat the bottle opener snapped too weak to do its job from overusing for that my liver can thank me later gratitude for a quick painless death my heart is a different story i apologize for drawing it out its years of clogged vessels and clotting for kicks its taking its toll and making me sick with guilt when my eyelids crack at the venetian dawn the peeled back exposition of confusion takes its turn i need to stop doing this to myself and thus stop doing it to you keep punching me i dont deserve to wake up i dont want sympathy and i dont want to seem ungrateful for my lips cant move mountains or do a single thing im sorry i cant remember you can count the number of times ive tried to kill myself on the back of my left hand but the right is always there to fight off any harm like the friend you dont know how to thank or the ringing smoke alarm it woke me up and hit me for wrongs i have caused i cant take back the things i made you saw i dont deserve to know the religion youve become i dont deserve to find the divine sum ill write out my will in the blood ill spill trying to make it up to you and the scars on my wrist are added to the list the only ways i learn to make it up to you i need to stop doing this to you im sorry
8.
Codename 04:26
lets keep this to ourselves well watch the neighbors whisper it takes a lot to do these things it tastes a lot like its bitter without these crutches i cant walk make sure the front door is locked admit on first question to a mouth but somehow its me whos always ratted out good or bad happy or sad im gonna have to take away the spoon in the box that you hide from the cops im gonna have to move away from the house where you sleep its a needle so deep im gonna have to sneak away from the words that you speak in a voice no more than a squeak im gonna have to stay in the bends of yr arms we have the same trackmarks
9.
if i seem bitter i guess thats because i am i cant wait until i get to college but i wish i couldve afforded to study abroad i need to put as much land and water in between us as if i still believed in god ill pray for a miracle for him to raise you from the dead so i can kill you again the wrists are scabbing over
10.
in yr car on the way to school take pictures in the park numbers written on a bench cry at how they look so familiar when a slow song comes on the disco ball is spinning sending light around the cafeteria sitting on the toilet crying at the locked window whos taking over when you go? ask him yrself if at all but if all goes wrong its still yr fault everyone still loves you except for those who hate you lough out loud when they spit at you my voice goes unheard everyone before you everyone to come this cycle wont end this cycle is too dumb ive ruined every friendship i have ever had this cycle wont end because i am too dumb

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released August 1, 2003

Everything by David F. Bello

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David F. Bello Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I sing for The World is a Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid to Die. This is my solo project.

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