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Tall Tree

by David F. Bello

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1.
Terminate 01:23
im gonna drink until my brain cells wont let me remember where i am and who brought me here and im gonna smoke enough drugs to kill off every little memento that you left between my ears yr dead to me an enemy of all thats good on this earth and if im alive in 2029 ill send a robot back to prevent yr birth and if i have to pull another dead body out of a bathtub to remind me of who you really want and if i hear another song with the line "you dont care about me" then ill van gogh the birthmarked one
2.
what i see when my mind goes to sleep is what my teacher told me to keep for memorization, i should write a diary what i remember doesnt match the things i know but i swear to god if you tell me not to go then ill stay here and feed you parts of me when i say that everything you love is broken when i say that everything you love is dead when i shut up and realize that everything you love is breathing when i breath and collapse will say come to my bed i walk to the edge of the sea and pull out the watch you gave to me i wonder what happened to mine when shes seeing you for that book she needs i wonder when you think that i should leave the only thing i care abt is time everytime you look at that shirt you think abt the stains that once were and how the belt wrapped around my feet i hope my comforter is clean but theres nothing there that my friends havent seen just think abt the words i love to repeat
3.
So Cool 02:03
satan is a woman with quick reflexes shes easy and she loves you with high standards the devil is the same, but a man whos real cool he lives like a jackass, but he always wins i think the only way to be different is to act like yr better than everyone else i feel just a little too normal i think i should fuck myself up just a little bit maybe ill start using heroin or just carve a word into my forehead i think the only way to be different is to act better than everyone else only the assholes win in the end so theres no point in being good i oughtta buy a house and move to OH to get myself out of this bag, i know it would im cured, im cured this haircut and these clothes the doctor that gave me this nose im healed, im cured the stitches hid in the seams with my back facing the beams im a new man who is an old man living in an old house paying no rent
4.
i wish you were here so i could wrap my hands around yr neck and drag my pick across the hole in yr body w/ every strum i loosen the strings that come from down yr head to the bridge i pull out pins to free all the notes the human ear can hear bending and stretching to catch a tune when yr lips are pursed in exit i hear the song i wrote for you to sing i wish you were here so i could sing it straight into you and mouth the words from w/in yr mouth its coming, oh, so fast i cant really write it down but thank god its coming out when the words form a paragraph the telegraphs are beeping fast yr heart will flutter until dawn i hear the rhythm birthed into everyone jesus blesses every circle drawn in diagram w/ a star for sin drawn upside down and w/ this pentagram i call the hell i suffer w/ in this world remain in thorned crown goodbye to all the world i drown myself in chicken blood in tubs of golden seams yr hair is clogging, helping drowning with the stench of death as i break the border with my team
5.
we bought a parrot at the smelly pet store you laughed when i taught it to call you a whore in the park we threw bread at pigeons but the zoo binocular vision, it wins big news for the birdwatchers natural selection is speeding up yr show is going off the air where my birdfeeder was is a bugzapper in the winter i threw rocks at the crows in the springtime i stepped on sparrows in the sumemr i strangled hummingbirds in the fall i ate frozen turkey dinners big news for the birdwatchers im goin hunting tomorrow morning yr show is going off the air there are razors mixed in w/ my birdseed two broken wings and half of a beak have been decaying in my basement for over a week cages filled w/ oily rags matches and old papers, moist miniature gags big news for the birdwatchers yr show is going off the air there are razors
6.
i walk past the home of the midget hawaiian past the hall where i learned all abt the cardiff giant the house where i puked all over the bathroom and got the number of a girl named catherine i regret never calling after i left her it was probably the best chance for sex last semester i walk through the shortcut b/w the two boremans the spot where someone puked a few weeks back the stain is still there rotting on the pavement trailing off right down a little crack i stare at the steeple of the church steps i sat on when i needed a little rest late at night after drinking last semester
7.
what a night for this on the bedside in b/w the glowing t.v. spit and a rubbed cloth handled teen sinus acid breath hiding stalling size whisper is all she says but the hair is behind her eyes the ancient blood in yr veins it warms me more than grain and the water that flows down the cliffs where yr ancestors lived its hot and it burns it flows around every turn it makes me wanna send letters to foreign lands although there plenty worse than that it still feels a little bad to need a cure that hasnt been invented yet why complain whats the deal? my teachers taught me better than to see and forget what i steal but keep the words w/ me forever
8.
we can laugh now that we mock everything we can drink so much that we pretend we can sing all the songs i wrote when i still lvoed you i still sing them whenever i feel sad i still play them for you just to make you mad and they mean just as much as they did when i still felt how i said i felt when i sang yr name in the songs i wrote i forget now of how you twisted me into a ball of rotten meat that lived on the bottom of yr fridge and slept whenever youd awake like i drifted off and then awoke just as i sang yr name in the songs i wrote la la la la la la la la la la la la dont come back, dont crawl back to me i miss you but yr not worth the pain i feel when i sing yr name in the songs i wrote
9.
if yr hair touches my fingers one more time i swear ill become king midas and youll become a statue of the goldest wire that sri lanka can pour from its dirtiest shore the workers dig until their hands and feet are cracked and raw and sore to find treasures like these they go blind from the dust settled on and kicked up from its dirtiest shore
10.
w/ hair that reflects the white moonlight cant you see its you im living for w/ eyes like miniature stars and a mind full of cheap cliched metaphors who are you pining after now a singer, actor, killer, or celebrity or a guy w/ a car and a lot of friends who have fake i.d.'s and love to party make yrself some food and leave the light on for me i wont get out of bed until late leave me a note abt how you slept last night and abt the dreams you had abt fate the grim reaper was less than a foot behind you but you woke up just in time to see me coming to bed w/ spilled alcohol and ink all over my jeans my hands are coverd in unwritten words discarded on the impotent path to find a way to describe you w/o engaging yr wrath all i could get was the sound of a bird and an empty jar w/ no smell a stinking shard of folded paper a letter that said what the hell
11.
The Sawdust 03:26
todays a great day for a trip to SC well stay awake in the rain beating the shit out of each other and when the day breaks well still be in the finer parts of the nation w/ the car that you flipped over on the sunday when the skateboard fell on gravel you broke yr collarbone, but didnt tell the doctor b/c you know his evil has come unraveled he put the dog to sleep the last time that you walked her every wishing cowboys death every dying cowboys wish will come true and hell be born back into the child he is the only comfort for a crying girl is drinking so slip a roofie into every towns water but dont touch anyone, i dont know what you were thinking let them sleep and dont disturb yr neighbors daughter falling over w/ bottle-handed duct tape you called yr mother and sobbed apologetic but youve failed in all regards and there is only one escape to throw away all ties to anything genetic every insecurity ive ever held in my heart is coming back right now when all is going greatly yr hands are the only things keeping me from fallin apart but anyway theyre the only things that ive been feelin lately finally im seein that the highs were really the lows and its only now that i consciously have caught up but it only occurs to me when my eyes are closed b/c when i open them they get hit w/ the sawdust!
12.
(instrumental)
13.
no one does anything good ever and the truth is something we gave up years ago when we still had a king and water was still safe to drink our children were still young and they didnt know ive been outside all day watching strangers the sunburn on my neck is turning me red i cant tell which would be the worse to look at godfather three or the haircut on yr head is this how all of us act is this how we are is this what weve become is this who we are the bottom of the gas tank is seeing daylight and the meter is shaking w/ doubt that this carll be able to carry us anywhere let alone carry the nine of us out the trunk isnt big enough for sleeping and yr rent was due three years ago yr parents havent loved you since the 8th grade and youd rather that they just didnt know that oou can make friends like these who are this irresponsible enough to leave you out here all alone w/ the woman who just called the constable spending a night in the local county jail isnt the worst thing thats ever happened but yr father yelled like his mouth was dying it was the loudest he has ever been you cried and you begged for his forgiveness but he sighed and he lied to you again "i love you and i dont want you to die" but in his head he was praying for god to send an angel of death to take his little girl who just didnt seem so fucking little anymore and erase the memories of his good time friends who work as clerks in the police force the municipal garden borders the municipal pool where the urine sits in warm sun all day babies squeal w/ laughter while their parents are at work its the lifegaurds job to take their child away at their desks they sit there scribbling memos that dont say how they really feel abt having a family praying that while the lifegaurd flirts w/ his high school romance his little junior pops a hole in his floaty and swims just a foot too deep in the wrong end of the pool while its adult swim two weeks before the beginning of school
14.
Plastics 01:43
i wanna shake this town like a disease but let a few symptoms remain i dont mind the headaches and ive grown to like the taste of acid rain the water tastes like medicine and the medicine tastes like dirt i know that its supposed to be helping but is it supposed to hurt treatments have gone on since the plants set up in town families have all withered away their graves are covered in dust from the winds that blow leaves where our children play my heart slows down and it skips a beat when we drive by the factories the roads may be new, but were too poor to sue our taxes pave roads for s.u.v.s i might miss this place once the forests are displaced and the farmers are all broke trees are only stumps that arent useful anymore history in an antique store
15.
you remind me of the girl in the dream i had on the night i turned thirteen you floated up from the edge of the sea w/ clams all covering yr feet leaves clung fast to yr skin the forests mouth welcomed you in as you fell to every earthly sin adapting outside of the ocean crudely breaking every rule yr fathers taught to you cutting yrself in the bathroom and making all yr sisters turn to the spoon following the path of beaten birds sprinkling their feathers on worlds planets far away and w/o words you crashed across a valley filled w/ herds you walked away w/o a scratch and the numbers formed a pattern we call math beauty came from impurities in that covering yr head like a child's hat i ride past where i almost got in a car wreck a drunken night pretending i was a redneck where i stupidly hit on a good friends sister and the neighborhood where her young boyfriend hit her and i remember a girl who cried on every prom night and the tall tree i pissed on out of spite back in parkersburg

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released June 1, 2005

Everything by David F. Bello

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David F. Bello Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I sing for The World is a Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid to Die. This is my solo project.

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